A funny thing happened....again.

Irish Rebel wrote:

irish colleen wrote:

We need more of these judges...

Judge Judy ALL THE WAY!!!!!

Meanwhile......I wanna get me one of THESE!!!!!!!

OMG !!!!!...Fabulous rug with a built in basement....I want one too... all the stuff I could store down there..

irish colleen wrote:

OMG !!!!!...Fabulous rug with a built in basement....I want one too... all the stuff I could store down there..

Just shows the difference in our lives, Colleen.......... You think "storage option" and here's me thinkin that a basement would be a great place to hide a few bodies

Irish Rebel wrote:

irish colleen wrote:

OMG !!!!!...Fabulous rug with a built in basement....I want one too... all the stuff I could store down there..

Just shows the difference in our lives, Colleen.......... You think "storage option" and here's me thinkin that a basement would be a great place to hide a few bodies

The only difference is you'd say it..I'd just think it....
MUUUUWAAAHAHAHA....

Did anyone watch the Oscars the other night....
I thought this was very funny...especially the Kate Winslet part....she's loves to get them out for the boys...how British of her...

irish colleen wrote:

Did anyone watch the Oscars the other night....
I thought this was very funny...especially the Kate Winslet part....she's loves to get them out for the boys...how British of her...

That was frikkin' hilarious but did you see the face on Charlize Theron
Next year..... Jenifer Aniston singing "We saw yer willy"

Ok......here's a real laugh.....watch it and at 10 seconds in, yer man sitting beside Naomi Watson turns and looks straight at her chest

One of the best jokes ever.......and I told it today at the dinner table......and my 81 year old mother is away to tell it at her bowling match tonight

Little Johnny and the Horse with the Broken Leg



Wee Johnny showed up late for school one day and the teacher asked why

Wee Johnny explained that a hole had been dug in the road for some waterworks maintenance and a horse had fallen in and hurt itself badly

Amongst other injuries, it had a broken leg and the police were called, with the vet, but they had to shoot the horse

The teacher, engrossed in the story, asked, 'Did they shoot the horse in the the hole?

To which wee Johnny replied, 'No, they shot it in the head'.

Looks like a few of us are all off the dinner menu then

Irish Rebel wrote:

A mere cat... very good..

Not trying to give Colleen any ideas or anything but.................

Quote :

I got into a black taxi in Dublin last weekend and
told the driver that I was going to Belfast.

He said, "That's going to
be about £400." which I thought was quite reasonable.... until I saw a sign in
the back saying 'I Will Charge You £60 If You're Sick In The Back!'

So
I shoved my fingers down my throat..

Go Feck yerself, Matt Lucas. Do you understand that?
PS....Your show is shite

He's obviously never been to Scotland... and since we're talking about Matt Lucas....hasn't he a head on him that only a Mother could love...

PPS....Nay Surrender!!!

PUNOGRAPHY

"Then it dawned on me" Thats a good 'un, Loki

Ooops

REALLY out the door now but just leaving a wee giggle in the meantime

Never saw that coming

ARSE!!! Simple

Irish Rebel wrote:

Good ones ladies good ones-

Now here is to prove that hard I mean GOOD men are indeed hard to find

The Thoughtful Husband...
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are over-sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.


My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.


Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work and although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out twice is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.


I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will even find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.


However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


Signed,
Jim

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum.The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

serve the fecker right

Ree wrote:

Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum.The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

Well if Peggy had been tidying up properly the golf club wouldn't have been left there for Bob to sit on.... tragic story...poor Bob...what a pain in the arse Peggy turned out to be...

irish colleen wrote:

Well if Peggy had been tidying up properly the golf club wouldn't have been left there for Bob to sit on.... tragic story...poor Bob...what a pain in the arse Peggy turned out to be...

She was good at golf, though....seems she got a "hole in one"

Irish Rebel wrote:

irish colleen wrote:

Well if Peggy had been tidying up properly the golf club wouldn't have been left there for Bob to sit on.... tragic story...poor Bob...what a pain in the arse Peggy turned out to be...

She was good at golf, though....seems she got a "hole in one"