A funny thing happened....again.

serve the fecker right

Ree wrote:

Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum.The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

Well if Peggy had been tidying up properly the golf club wouldn't have been left there for Bob to sit on.... tragic story...poor Bob...what a pain in the arse Peggy turned out to be...

irish colleen wrote:

Well if Peggy had been tidying up properly the golf club wouldn't have been left there for Bob to sit on.... tragic story...poor Bob...what a pain in the arse Peggy turned out to be...

She was good at golf, though....seems she got a "hole in one"

Irish Rebel wrote:

irish colleen wrote:

Well if Peggy had been tidying up properly the golf club wouldn't have been left there for Bob to sit on.... tragic story...poor Bob...what a pain in the arse Peggy turned out to be...

She was good at golf, though....seems she got a "hole in one"

As we have recently mentioned Nottingham..................

Irish Rebel wrote:

As we have recently mentioned Nottingham..................

He certainly is!!!!!!!!

RIGHT!!! I'm giving you all fair warning with this one...OK?!
Its one of those pics where you screw yer face up....say "Ewwwwww no!" .... but laugh anyway and show it to someone

OH DEAR GOD....!!!!!!
Seriously...does anyone need to see that...

irish colleen wrote:

OH DEAR GOD....!!!!!!
Seriously...does anyone need to see that...

I KNEW you would come in here and say that!! ......then give off to me on the internet....and NOW you'll ring me and tell me not to post pics like that
I couldn't help it.....it was too awful for words and I HAD to post it in here. The visitors will LOVE it. They'll probably photoshop their ID of choice onto it and take it to bed with them

Irish Rebel wrote:

irish colleen wrote:

OH DEAR GOD....!!!!!!
Seriously...does anyone need to see that...

I KNEW you would come in here and say that!! ......then give off to me on the internet....and NOW you'll ring me and tell me not to post pics like that
I couldn't help it.....it was too awful for words and I HAD to post it in here. The visitors will LOVE it. They'll probably photoshop their ID of choice onto it and take it to bed with them

You're such a brat ....When your kids are acting the maggot don't ever wonder where they got it from....

Irish Rebel wrote:

RIGHT!!! I'm giving you all fair warning with this one...OK?!
Its one of those pics where you screw yer face up....say "Ewwwwww no!" .... but laugh anyway and show it to someone

are you nuts, or what

The 98-year-old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused.

Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother," the nuns asked with humility, "please give us some wisdom before you die."

She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, "Don't sell that cow.":)

LOL!!!

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a golf ball.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - '$250'
A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a sand wedge.
'The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy - '$750'
Man - 'Sold.'

A few days later, the boy’s father says to the boy,
'Grab your sand wedge and golf ball, let's go outside and have some short game practice.
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and sand wedge dad.'
The father says, 'What?!
How much did you sell them for?'
Boy - '$1,000.'
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'
They go to the church, and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that crap with me! You're in my closet now.'

Some funny ones for all our readers!   


A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration.'

          

A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being.

Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries.

She says, "Well, what did you do for love?"

He says, "Love? What's that?"

She says, "I'll show you."

She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows him one more time. When they're finally done, she says, "Well, how do you like love?"

He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."

Quote :

He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."

            

Quote :

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration.'

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'"

just find this one... just pretty fine!

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. I've just quit drinking!"

Quote :

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. I've just quit drinking!"

  never saw that coming