| A funny thing happened....again. | |
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+7Irish Rebel Mary Sidney sebbinnette Janet ME Heaven_lea27 Debbie 11 posters |
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Loki SuperMod
Messages : 3881 Date d'inscription : 2008-06-17
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Wed 11 Jan - 3:59 | |
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irish colleen Irish Divesline
Messages : 3096 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Wed 11 Jan - 8:26 | |
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Janet ME Irish Bar customer 3
Messages : 81 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19
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irish colleen Irish Divesline
Messages : 3096 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Wed 11 Jan - 8:54 | |
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Loki SuperMod
Messages : 3881 Date d'inscription : 2008-06-17
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Wed 11 Jan - 13:29 | |
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Loki SuperMod
Messages : 3881 Date d'inscription : 2008-06-17 Localisation : In my forest, where else?
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Wed 11 Jan - 13:30 | |
| - Quote :
- HUMILIATION:
A man goes into a brothel and says he wants something special.
"Spit it out love, I'm sure we can sort you out if the price is right."
The man confesses he's into being dominated, and he is looking for complete humiliation.
"Not a problem, darlin', we can do complete humiliation for £37.50."
"That's very cheap. I wasn't expecting it to be so little. What do I get for that?"
"An England Football shirt" | |
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Thu 12 Jan - 10:14 | |
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Thu 12 Jan - 10:18 | |
| OK -- I'm back! Now, for what I was going to post A drunk, smelling like beer, sat down on a park bench next to a priest. His tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?' The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.' The drunk muttering, 'Well, son-of-agun!, returned to his paper. The priest, thinking what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.' MORAL: Make sure you understand the question... Before giving an answer. | |
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sebbinnette just Sebbinette!
Messages : 639 Date d'inscription : 2009-10-10 Age : 31 Localisation : Switzerland... :)
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Fri 13 Jan - 11:34 | |
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Loki SuperMod
Messages : 3881 Date d'inscription : 2008-06-17 Localisation : In my forest, where else?
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Fri 13 Jan - 12:30 | |
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Loki SuperMod
Messages : 3881 Date d'inscription : 2008-06-17 Localisation : In my forest, where else?
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Thu 2 Feb - 14:31 | |
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Irish Rebel Irish Divesline
Messages : 4328 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Age : 57 Localisation : Belfast, Ireland
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Mon 6 Feb - 3:41 | |
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Irish Rebel Irish Divesline
Messages : 4328 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Age : 57 Localisation : Belfast, Ireland
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Mon 6 Feb - 3:44 | |
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Irish Rebel Irish Divesline
Messages : 4328 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Age : 57 Localisation : Belfast, Ireland
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Mon 6 Feb - 3:49 | |
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Loki SuperMod
Messages : 3881 Date d'inscription : 2008-06-17 Localisation : In my forest, where else?
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sebbinnette just Sebbinette!
Messages : 639 Date d'inscription : 2009-10-10 Age : 31 Localisation : Switzerland... :)
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Mon 6 Feb - 13:05 | |
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Mon 6 Feb - 15:48 | |
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Irish Rebel Irish Divesline
Messages : 4328 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Age : 57 Localisation : Belfast, Ireland
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Tue 7 Feb - 1:41 | |
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Loki SuperMod
Messages : 3881 Date d'inscription : 2008-06-17 Localisation : In my forest, where else?
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Tue 7 Feb - 11:09 | |
| IDIOT SIGHTING #1
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said,'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park ,Nr Watford UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Departmentto request the removal of the DEER CROSSING signon our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don'tthink this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Potters Bar , Herts , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimum lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From South Oxhey Herts , UK ...
IDIOT SIGHTING #5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened Luton Airport .... UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a Local County Counciller employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #7
When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans,Hertfordshire UK .
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and the scary part is that is they have the RIGHT TO VOTE and REPRODUCE!
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Irish Rebel Irish Divesline
Messages : 4328 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Age : 57 Localisation : Belfast, Ireland
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Tue 21 Feb - 3:20 | |
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Bridge Admin
Messages : 4920 Date d'inscription : 2007-08-05 Localisation : my december...my time of the year
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Tue 21 Feb - 3:45 | |
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Tue 21 Feb - 4:19 | |
| I agree | |
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irish colleen Irish Divesline
Messages : 3096 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Localisation : Dublin Ireland
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Wed 22 Feb - 3:55 | |
| Something for your funny bone... " Morning Sex" She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming Or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, Her T-shirt still around her neck. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken." WARNING !!!....The following should only be read by women with a sense of humour... Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name 3. Dogs like it ifyou leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.. 7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing 8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?" 9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away 10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. 11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. And last, but not least: 12. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff. To test this theory: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you. ......it's kinda true...but I'm sure us women could do a similar one for the men.... | |
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irish colleen Irish Divesline
Messages : 3096 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Localisation : Dublin Ireland
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Wed 22 Feb - 14:22 | |
| - irish colleen wrote:
- Something for your funny bone...
" Morning Sex" She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming Or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, Her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
WARNING !!!....The following should only be read by women with a sense of humour...
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
3. Dogs like it ifyou leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..
7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing
8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away
10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. And last, but not least:
12. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff. To test this theory: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you.
......it's kinda true...but I'm sure us women could do a similar one for the men....
Too funny!!!!! | |
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Fri 24 Feb - 13:34 | |
| a business man gets on a elevator; there was a Blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked puzzled and repeated,"T-G-I-F," more slowly. He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The Blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated Blonde finally decided to explain.
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank God, It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhhhh?"
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'--Duuhhh!!! | |
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
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Irish Rebel Irish Divesline
Messages : 4328 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Age : 57 Localisation : Belfast, Ireland
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Irish Rebel Irish Divesline
Messages : 4328 Date d'inscription : 2007-09-16 Age : 57 Localisation : Belfast, Ireland
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Mon 5 Mar - 13:49 | |
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Ree American Divesline
Messages : 1643 Date d'inscription : 2007-10-19 Localisation : USA
| Subject: Re: A funny thing happened....again. Mon 5 Mar - 18:23 | |
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| A funny thing happened....again. | |
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