A funny thing happened....again.

Gotta tell my Mum that one, Loki

Meant to say....it was the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, last weekend. Belfast has gone down the road of all things Titanic. The council even hired Leonardo Di Caprio to swim in Belfast lough .............................

Is that really him, or one of them there lookalikes

Its just a pic of him swimming somewhere (who swims with their sunglasses on?)

Everyone here has been on a Titanic overload....I think we've had enough now

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "where were you?".

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; "look son, look what I'm after making".
...
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "what is it?"

God replied, "it's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and south America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over

here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one of blacks in the south. And then the archangel said, "and what's that green dot there?". And God said "ahhh that's the Emerald Isle - that's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth; Beautiful Mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coast line. These people here are going to be great craic and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be playwrights and poets and singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them this black liquid which they're going to go mad on and for which people will come from the far corners of the earth to imbibe. Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance..


God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them"

Irish Rebel wrote:

Meant to say....it was the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, last weekend. Belfast has gone down the road of all things Titanic. The council even hired Leonardo Di Caprio to swim in Belfast lough .............................

Rose....Gurgle gurgle....here I am Jack...gurgle....

and you're right.....who goes swimming wearing sunglasses... obviously not planning on getting his hair wet.

Irish Rebel wrote:

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "where were you?".

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; "look son, look what I'm after making".
...
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "what is it?"

God replied, "it's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and south America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over

here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one of blacks in the south. And then the archangel said, "and what's that green dot there?". And God said "ahhh that's the Emerald Isle - that's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth; Beautiful Mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coast line. These people here are going to be great craic and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be playwrights and poets and singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them this black liquid which they're going to go mad on and for which people will come from the far corners of the earth to imbibe. Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance..


God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them"

and the Lord created Ingerland....

Loki wrote:

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.

Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' And out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.

The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...

The grandmother says, 'Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets.

irish colleen wrote:

Irish Rebel wrote:

Meant to say....it was the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, last weekend. Belfast has gone down the road of all things Titanic. The council even hired Leonardo Di Caprio to swim in Belfast lough .............................

Rose....Gurgle gurgle....here I am Jack...gurgle....

and you're right.....who goes swimming wearing sunglasses... obviously not planning on getting his hair wet.

I do!!! I have very sensitive eyes and nope I usually don't get my hair wet

and as it is the 100th anniversary of the Titanic-- did Belfast post signs around saying The Titanic was working just fine when she left??

Love the Irish making and nude sunbather!!

Ree wrote:

and as it is the 100th anniversary of the Titanic-- did Belfast post signs around saying The Titanic was working just fine when she left??

Actually Ree.... there are tee's here that say "Titanic...Built by Irishmen .....sank by the English" lol

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here... that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him.

Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: "May I help you?" Bob says: "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee." Receptionist: "But Sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities....."Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."

Irish Rebel wrote:

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here... that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him.

Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: "May I help you?" Bob says: "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee." Receptionist: "But Sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities....."Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."

LMAO...

Man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.


Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their Dad for a clue.
Well, he said, 'It's what Mommy calls me sometimes!'.

The little girl screams to her brother.........





'Don't eat it, it's an arsehole!!!!!!!!!!.."

Irish Rebel wrote:

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here... that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him.

Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: "May I help you?" Bob says: "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee." Receptionist: "But Sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities....."Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."

C : The muppet should be mine! she's skinny and all bellybutton out ...
U: let's the people focusing on her and forget that terrible wrinkled sheet-used-as a curtain in our back...
S: fluffy and comfy... but all brand new surgery... seems she must "knack" as a fresh sausage
D: business is business, doing more with less, she reminds me the lil pig I've got as a moneybox.... NEXT!

Bridge wrote:

C : The muppet should be mine! she's skinny and all bellybutton out ...
U: let's the people focusing on her and forget that terrible wrinkled sheet-used-as a curtain in our back...
S: fluffy and comfy... but all brand new surgery... seems she must "knack" as a fresh sausage
D: business is business, doing more with less, she reminds me the lil pig I've got as a moneybox.... NEXT!

OMG!!!! THAT IS TOO FUNNY!!!!! Wonder how much she had to pay for her M+G!

Bridge wrote:

C : The muppet should be mine! she's skinny and all bellybutton out ...
U: let's the people focusing on her and forget that terrible wrinkled sheet-used-as a curtain in our back...
S: fluffy and comfy... but all brand new surgery... seems she must "knack" as a fresh sausage
D: business is business, doing more with less, she reminds me the lil pig I've got as a moneybox.... NEXT!

Bridge....You couldn't have used a more appropriate picture to stick a Muppet into....

Ree...No price is too high or country too far for this stalker A gobshyte if ever there was one...

Bridge wrote:

irish colleen wrote:

Bridge....You couldn't have used a more appropriate picture to stick a Muppet into....

it's a mermaid muppet ...

OH.....well the original pic has an Uber Muppet....maybe her Mermaid stalker Muppet creeeeep-ed into the photo...

irish colleen wrote:

OH.....well the original pic has an Uber Muppet....maybe her Mermaid stalker Muppet creeeeep-ed into the photo...

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?”

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The youngest brother gasped for breath and replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time dude. God is missing and they think WE did it!"

Very good Sidney...
Here is a clip that I think is so funny...the great Billy Connolly I saw this years ago and I literally slid of the chair laughing....



edit...
Feck it's disabled watch it on youtube....it''s worth a watch...

to you both, excellent

Mmmmmmmm....tastes like ginger

http://www.u.tv/Entertainment/Prince-Harry-licked-by-Lisburn-girl/1acfc2b7-df30-4210-a745-b212dc6ba802

Irish Rebel wrote:

Mmmmmmmm....tastes like ginger

http://www.u.tv/Entertainment/Prince-Harry-licked-by-Lisburn-girl/1acfc2b7-df30-4210-a745-b212dc6ba802

I can't see the vid...but I hope they washed the little girls tongue....God knows what Flash Harry has been up to lately....I'll but his Dad is laughing his arse off... That's mo boy...